Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Puppy Love

Funny ... I think it's funny. Batrisyia, my 6 years old daughter is madly in love. The love of her life, at least for the last 6 months is Shahid, a cute little hunk with a missing front tooth.

Tisha started talking about Shahid since early this year, barely a week after school started. Shahid's cute, Shahid's nice, everything's about Shahid. She's very open about her "feelings" for Shahid. One fine morning at school, Tisha said to me, Ibu,if you want to know how Shahid looks like ...just call out his name,the one who responded will be him. Try it, Just don't tell him that I want to marry him OK.

Just last month she told me that Shahid had chosen her. Well, after so many months of being non responsive to any conversations about Shahid (I can tell you that there are lots and lots of Shahid's story, which would be too many to share) I decided to ask some questions about the boy in my only daughter's life. So ... what did Shahid say when he CHOSE you? Were there other girls? How did it happen? With a big smile ... she answered ... I asked him who will he marry when he grows up, and he told me that he will marry me. Aaa .. Are you kidding me? What's with the question? Why did you asked him the question? He likes me, that's why I asked. I know that he likes me.

I asked Fakri, my nephew who goes to the same preschool with Tisha. Fakri, kenal Shahid tak? Fakri answered: Kenal... Shahid nak kawin dengan Tisha .. dia suka Tisha. Mann... the whole school knows about this? I wondered .. hmm ... so I asked Zaim and Zahier, Tisha's brothers the next day about Shahid. It's not that I was worried, just curious. Abang, do you know Shahid? Zaim answered: Kenal ... abang main bola kat surau dengan Shahid. But Shahid is only 6 years old and you guys are 11 & 12, how come he is playing football with people much older then himself. Zaim answered: We've checked him out Ibu. He is cool. Don't worry.

I am sure there is nothing to worry about ...though just last Tuesday she asked me to pick an outfit from a wedding magazine for her engagement and has been telling her friends that she wants to save money to prepare for her wedding and has been reminding me to invite Shahid to her Birthday Party, which is in January. I am sure these love thing is normal. I think.

One good, positive thing that came out from this love story is that compared to last year, it is much easier now to get Tisha to wake up and get ready for school. Last year, I practically had to drag or carry her to the bath room but this year ... she even bathe herself... I have Shahid to thank for this.

BTW today's Kiki's Birthday ... Happy Birthday sweet little thing!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I want to remember ..

Being a parent is HUGE responsibility. However, the first thing I thought of after getting married was to get pregnant or a better way to describe it .. to have a baby. I was excited about it, from the process of making one, visualising on how to care, to educate, to love and to give, give and give. I want very much for my babies to grow up and become a responsible, caring and a good Muslim.

My first baby was born on May 31st, 1997 i.e. i got pregnant 3 months after marriage. Pregnancy for me was smooth sailing, I can remember vividly getting excited when my bosoms gets bigger. I really thought that the size would stay. But tough luck, it was just temporary.

My eldest son is now 11 going 12. How time flies. I tried to remember how he was as a baby but I can't seems to remember that much.

Last December, my eldest son popped a question.

He asked me how many kids did I plan to have when I got married?
What a question, I said to my self.
I answered him .. 6.
But you only have 4 now. he said.
When are you planning to have the next one?
The kids are demanding for a new addition to the family. They want a baby! I know very well why are they demanding for one. Must be because my sister and sister in law is pregnant and as their belly gets bigger, the pestering gets more intense.

Well I can't get pregnant anymore sweetheart.
Why? he asked.
Because it will be dangerous for me to get pregnant again and following the doctor's advice, Ayah and me had decided not to have anymore babies.

Dissapointment ... that was all I can see from the children's faces. So I go on explaining .. that I have one big scar on my tummy from giving birth to all 4 of them and because the doctor had to cut the same place over and over again for 4 times, the womb becomes weak and it had become dangerous for me to get pregnant again.

As they were trying to convince me that I should try giving birth the normal way, or the exact word used was through the butt, I decided to stop discussing about it. Then suddently ... the thought crossed my mind ... NO MORE BABIES!! .. it's not like I really want more babies, but you know the feeling of holding a little baby in your arms, there will no more baby talk! no more experiencing those cute little things that babies do, that can just take you breath away ... ya .. I'll miss that!!

My youngest son is already 3 years old. A child this age still do cute baby like stuff. They just craves for attention and so pure and innocent. So I decided that I want to remember .. I want to remember all the cute stuff that my baby does and I need to do something as I know that I will one day forget. I really want to remember..

Recently Zikri (my youngest son) did something really romantic. He came to me and had asked me to close my eyes. Quickly put his little fingers on my eyes just to make sure that I really had closed my eyes. I noticed that he was hiding something behind his back. So I got excited thinking what's the surprise. Can I open my eyes now? I asked.

Ibu boleh bukak mata.. he said.

The moment I opened my eyes ... I saw his little fingers holding a stack of flowers .. Hmm the flowers looked familiar. Ini untuk Ibu .. he announced. I glanced at my Mother's dining table and noticed the plactic flower decorating the table was missing ... immediately, I showered him with hugs and kisses so he know that I truly appreciate the gift. Well, it was kind of the first experience for me getting a flower like that, so I find myself singing away right after that humming my favourite song i.e. Master of Puppet ... while doing the house chores. That was how happy I was that day. So I decided to write it down. I would want to remember this.

One day I asked Zikri a question.

Kiki (the name he called himself) ... Kiki tengok ibu cantik tak?

Kiki looked into my eyes and answered .. Ibu cantik, Ibu cantik macam Puteri. Wow a romeo in the making I thought to myself.

I was surprised with the answer ... is he a romeo or what? Ibu cantik macam Puteri? I have actually asked the same question to my eldest son much earlier. Firstly, he was hesitant to give me an answer but later decided to give me an answer which was not really that convincing.. Like.. OK la Ibu lawa. It's not like I was waiting for a compliment. Eee teruk lah abang ni. That was my response to him.

So I wrote down what Kiki told me that day, that I am beautiful like a princess and try to remember how cute and sincere he looked when uttering the words. That was a moment to cherish.

Just to see how my husband would fared in front of this sweet little thing we call Kiki, I asked Kiki a similar question in front of my husband ... Kiki .. Ayah handsome tak? well I laughed at his .. still very cute answer which was .. Ayah tak handsome .. ayah macam gangster! ... Kah! Kah! Kah! padan muka ayah dia.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Pets for Kids

Saturday was a busy day. I ended up spending half the day cleaning up aquariums. These are not aquariums for fish but tortoises...different types of weird looking tortoises. Crocodile, long neck, box tortoise and a few other different types, big and small and they ain't pretty.

The aquariums are extremely dirty, filled with dark green water. I started with sucking the yucky water out of the aquariums. The tortoises looked calm. Kids joined me and they cautioned me that the tortoise can actually jump and bite. Anyway, when we started to fill the water with fresh water, the tortoises started to move towards me and opened their mouth wide. I started to feel sorry for the creatures. It looked like these creatures have not tasted fresh water for quite a bit. I felt sorry for them, they don't deserved to be treated like a non-living thing. My sister joined shortly and it looked like even though it was tiring, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. Once all the aquariums are cleaned and filled with fresh water and seeing the tortoises swimming about happily, the feeling was pure satisfaction!!

I just don't understand why anyone would want to have such animal for pets. My brother is definitely a weirdo. It's not like you can cuddle or kiss these creatures, you think twice even to touch it, they look like dangerous reptiles and dirty. As the kids have been bugging me for years about having pets. I told my kids that, even though the tortoises are not theirs, they can actually take care of it. That they can find out more about it in the internet, stuff like the food, their natural habitat etc so that we can care for it the way it deserved to be cared. Having pet is a Big Responsibility. One obvious example is the tortoises. I can't imagine these creatures living in such a filthy place. These are living creatures and must be treated with respect and empathy.

I promised the kids that if they can earn my trust by showing me that they can be responsible pet owners, I will let them have any pets they wish to have. (I hope I can keep this promise). First step is to take care of the tortoises like their own. Keep the pet's home clean and feed them well. Lets see if they can deliver.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Age Gracefully

I like to watch E news on Astro. Segment on Stars who turned 50 and are still looking GREAT caught my attention. These are babes with good looks; hot looking body and they are 50 years old! You know when you were kids and you thought that 50 is a very old age .. 50 are the age when people start dying (or was it just me).

But as you get older, even though you consciously know that you are getting older, age is actually just numbers. Year after year, gray hairs starts to appear and if you have kids, they get bigger and bigger and you get wiser and wiser but 50 really is just a number. I can still remember when I can't wait to turn 17 ... and then 21 (I'm free, I'm free) and then the number gets bigger and bigger and now pushing 40... woo please stop.. put a brake on it..

Well back to the fabulous babes at 50, Madonna's body is so .. so .. awesome! I just adore the muscles, the curves and how I wish .. you know, though I know that it involves a lot of money and sweat ... and I just can't imagine how on earth?.. but I guess determination and hard work pays!!

Michelle Pfeifer is another one ... not so much of muscles but she don't even look 40 - the secret ... watch what you eat, don't smoke and discipline routine exercise.

Well the ladies had inspired me. One of my New Year resolution is to get rid of those fats around my abs (this inspiration came from Madonna) and since my latest physical assessment says that I am close to obese (are you kidding me? That was my reaction when a trainer at the GYM read me my result). I will make sure that my next one, which I am scheduling in June, will show a much better result. Meaning that I will work on my "problem areas" i.e. the gluteus and thighs like never before. To make sure that I will achieve the desired RESULT (bearing in mind that I have not succeeded for years) I will get my husband to be my trainer. This is not just because I don't have money to hire a trainer but also because I need to spend more quality time with hubby. I will also make sure that I will drink 8 glasses of water every day and take a lot of fiber and fruits. Review results in 6 months!! Malaysia Boleh!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Do you know what makes you happy? Have you found the happiness that you are looking for in life?

I have always thought that happiness is state of mind of greatness you feel when you get things you want or achieved something big in life. But somehow, I think I'm missing something. Certain milestone or achievements in life so far has not given me the kind of happiness that I thought I would feel. You know, the feeling when you just feel like jumping and say Yippee!!

I am slowly realizing how I have started to burden myself with so many targets and deadlines in life since I was very young. How I have always thought that achieving all these set targets will give me happiness in life. I am so WRONG.

For instance my target list when I was 19:-
1) to buy a car at 21
2) to buy a life insurance policy at 21
3) to get married at 23
4) to have my first child at 24
5) to buy a house at 28
6) to graduate (part time study) before 30
7) get $ salary level by 30

That was my first target list that covers up to age 30. Looking back, some of it does not even make sense. Plan was to start early and you get to settle down early. That was the BIG plan. I was so forward thinking even to the type of house I was supposed to purchase. Suburb area, far from the city, windy, single storey corner house .. so that you will not have to worry about climbing stairs when you're old and the part about it has to be a corner house so that you can extend and your children can visit and sleep over during weekends.

Believe it or not ... I basically achieved all the targets set. I even got to get married at 23 and gave birth to my first child at 24 (I fell in love with the car salesman - when I bought my 1st car at 21). I was so worried that I don't get to fall in love. Luckily I found love. Thank god for all the achievements, but it came with big responsibilities and lots of adjusting to do. My first baby was such a crybaby .. with sleepless nights and constant crying .. and the next one popped out exactly one year after ... I was getting a bit depressed .... help!! I thank god constantly for making me strong and for all the blessings. I even survived all the adjustments I needed to do with my life partner. That was tough too and I survived! The house was a very bad choice and I got pregnant twice while doing my part time study! But thank GOD. I survived.

I know now that Happiness is not about getting what you want .. it is about giving, sharing, it is about contributing and definitely about give and take, try to take it easy and occasionally just hang out and chill.

I was lying on bed one morning when suddenly all the kids just hops on the bed and we just lie in bed chatting, sharing stories and we laughed a lot. That's happiness.

How about giving or contributing to the society, to the environment or even sharing something with someone or friends. Little things that you do can actually make you feel good and make you happy.

I read through my target list up to the big 50. There's nothing wrong about making such list as you need REMINDERS that can give you direction and focus to achieve things in life. But we just need to take it easy as the targets can get bigger and bigger as you grow old you may just stressed yourself up... AGAIN. So I decided to cross some targets from the list but still continue to dream and strive to achieve the targets that I decided to keep. I even put in extra targets that are more GIVING and some targets to prepare me for life after death. That's ultra IMPORTANT!!

I am sure that I will find Happiness now with my new set of targets .. with Allah's blessing.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I'm full of Blobs

I am not feeling good. My eating habit seems to change so drastically for the last one month plus. I have been drinking lots of Teh Tarik, 3 in one coffee mix, cordial drinks .. I have not gone to the gym for almost 2 months. Of course you skip Gym during Ramadhan, but Ramadhan is over .. and I just don't feel like going back to Gym!! .. I am feeling lazy! Looking down at Ms Tummy, the blob is not looking good. Worst thing, I have 3 open houses to go this weekend and all I can think of is Food, Food and more food.

Thing is, I have been so good in avoiding sweets and chocolates and yesterday while waiting for the LRT train I indulged my self to a whole piece of Snickers bar. What the heck is happening to me? What happen to Control?

I need to get back to my normal self. I really need to ... OK .. now which is my normal self. The one who wallop everything and thinks it's OK since she's not getting fat anyway or the one who watch out what she eats coz she is fully aware that everything she eats will eventually have effects on her body? Let me think now ...

A colleague had a heart attack on Sunday September 28th. He died. He was the marketing head in the Philippines. We talk occasionally on the phone and communicate via emails most of the time about works, mostly about deadlines. Exactly my age. Young, slim, good looking guy. I was shocked and sad when I got the news. My first question was .. were there any symptoms? Felt guilty when I asked that question. It's like you know that when the time has come, you will go. If it's not time yet, even when you fall from 7th floor, you can still live. As Muslims, we know that. But I guess, we also know that we should take care of ourself all we can. I am not saying that my friend did not take care of himself. He just got back from a 3 weeks vacation and was looking forward to get back to work. He was also preparing for his wedding scheduled December this year. Gonna miss his warm voice...

As for me... I think I'll go back to my normal self... My normal self that makes me feel good.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


I just managed to find some old friends via Facebook!! Facebook is so cool!! Yeah!!

Ya.. ya .. you may be thinking that I am so out of date and I must admit that I am so way behind when it comes to the Internet Technology.

Just want to share that I am glad that I joined Facebook. It's exciting!! Bye for now!