Happiness

Do you know what makes you happy? Have you found the happiness that you are looking for in life?

I have always thought that happiness is state of mind of greatness you feel when you get things you want or achieved something big in life. But somehow, I think I'm missing something. Certain milestone or achievements in life so far has not given me the kind of happiness that I thought I would feel. You know, the feeling when you just feel like jumping and say Yippee!!

I am slowly realizing how I have started to burden myself with so many targets and deadlines in life since I was very young. How I have always thought that achieving all these set targets will give me happiness in life. I am so WRONG.

For instance my target list when I was 19:-
1) to buy a car at 21
2) to buy a life insurance policy at 21
3) to get married at 23
4) to have my first child at 24
5) to buy a house at 28
6) to graduate (part time study) before 30
7) get $ salary level by 30

That was my first target list that covers up to age 30. Looking back, some of it does not even make sense. Plan was to start early and you get to settle down early. That was the BIG plan. I was so forward thinking even to the type of house I was supposed to purchase. Suburb area, far from the city, windy, single storey corner house .. so that you will not have to worry about climbing stairs when you're old and the part about it has to be a corner house so that you can extend and your children can visit and sleep over during weekends.

Believe it or not ... I basically achieved all the targets set. I even got to get married at 23 and gave birth to my first child at 24 (I fell in love with the car salesman - when I bought my 1st car at 21). I was so worried that I don't get to fall in love. Luckily I found love. Thank god for all the achievements, but it came with big responsibilities and lots of adjusting to do. My first baby was such a crybaby .. with sleepless nights and constant crying .. and the next one popped out exactly one year after ... I was getting a bit depressed .... help!! I thank god constantly for making me strong and for all the blessings. I even survived all the adjustments I needed to do with my life partner. That was tough too and I survived! The house was a very bad choice and I got pregnant twice while doing my part time study! But thank GOD. I survived.

I know now that Happiness is not about getting what you want .. it is about giving, sharing, it is about contributing and definitely about give and take, try to take it easy and occasionally just hang out and chill.

I was lying on bed one morning when suddenly all the kids just hops on the bed and we just lie in bed chatting, sharing stories and we laughed a lot. That's happiness.

How about giving or contributing to the society, to the environment or even sharing something with someone or friends. Little things that you do can actually make you feel good and make you happy.

I read through my target list up to the big 50. There's nothing wrong about making such list as you need REMINDERS that can give you direction and focus to achieve things in life. But we just need to take it easy as the targets can get bigger and bigger as you grow old you may just stressed yourself up... AGAIN. So I decided to cross some targets from the list but still continue to dream and strive to achieve the targets that I decided to keep. I even put in extra targets that are more GIVING and some targets to prepare me for life after death. That's ultra IMPORTANT!!

I am sure that I will find Happiness now with my new set of targets .. with Allah's blessing.